So in all my “gallivanting” (as Rich calls it) this summer, one of the most exciting places I went to, was Cambridge.
Let me just say that again. I went to Cambridge.
And I didn’t just go – I was invited.
Now to understand this, you have to lean into the fact that I’m a girl with no science degree, operating in a world of REALLY SMART science people. Not sure how this happened, tbh. Have a crappy little humanities degree from UC Berkeley. Secretly suspect it’s not really worth the paper it’s written on.
But due to strange series of life events, including launching our own CG Microbiome Test, am now working closely with people like Dr. Anton Enright, head of Pathology Dept. at Cambridge. And can tell you (in strictest confidence) – I don’t even understand his bio page. Seriously. I read it, and thought…”What?” and re-read it again. Still – don’t understand. Says things like this: “To fully explore this growing world of epitranscriptomic modifications and their effects, we are combining cutting-edge genomics techniques including Illumina high-throughput sequencing, Oxford Nanopore Direct RNA sequencing and single nucleotide mass-spectrometry to try and detect RNA modifications.”
So – you know – having Imposter Syndrome. Big time. Due to dealing with VERY SMART SCIENCE-Y TYPES.
And then – I get this in the post. Check it out:
Seriously. So was Freaking. Out.
But also v. happy because “Decorations may be worn” means that I get to wear my MBE medal. Nice, because received it in Windsor from HRH The Prince of Wales the week before, and where else can wear it? Nowhere, except to muck out the chickens. And they are not impressed. So must take up this opportunity to wear medal. May never get to wear it again.
But what else to wear, besides the medal? Medal not enough to wear on its own. Must have clothes as well. Now that I am nearly 60, major goal is mostly to not embarrass self or children. Settle for blue velvet jacket, so:
Hop on train. V. nervous. Take looooooong train journey. 7 hours. Many stops. Many changes. Finally arrive Cambridge. Am enchanted. Cambridge looks very much like Diagon Alley. Mixture of antiquity and pure whimsy. Looks like this:
Full of gorgeous old gold stone buildings and very smart, very happy people. Clearly having optimum university experience. Students are smiling. Feel v. jealous. Do not remember smiling when I was student. Never as happy as these students. Feel bitter. This is where I should have gone to uni, classical loveliness, not hippie-style grimy old Berkeley. Feel…yes, feel UNI ENVY!
Pop in to visit Cambridge Genomics, where Cambridge scientists process our CG Microbiome Tests. Dr. Enright is the academic lead there, as Head of the Pathology Department. He works with his brilliant team: Dr. Julien Bauer and Dr. Alexandra Karcanias who co-manage the facility, Stephanie Wenlock who is a bioinformatician and Kerry Harvey, Senior Lab Technician. Despite their super braininess, am impressed by how nice these people are. Just like – well, people! Who knew??
Must drink restorative glass of Pinot Grigio in quaint sidewalk cafe to recover.
After this, walk streets of old golden stone and v. happy students until I reach Trinity Hall. Here Dr. Enright is waiting for me, looking a bit like a well-heeled Count Dracula in his Smart Person Robes, thus:
He takes me on a tour of Trinity Hall, all swoon-y gorgeous ancient buildings festooned with roses, where the professors live, lucky devils:
And students sitting on lawns, all being brilliant in classical fashion:
And punting on river. Punting! On river! As you do…
Can feel Uni Envy & Bitterness mounting. Am ready to fall onto knees, beg Anton to allow me to be a student here. Can ask for a Life Do-Over, surely? Then we are taken on a tour into a Hogwarts-style library dating back to the 1500s. This is special because ordinarily no one is allowed into this library, where precious books are protected from harmful sunlight. By tradition, two of the books always chained to the shelves. More Smart People In Robes here – (Cambridge people plus their invited Bateman Feast guests) like so:
Then we stroll out on to the lawn to drink champagne with the other Bateman Feast attendees. Feel that I have accidentally stumbled into Merchant Ivory movie set. Keep waiting for someone to notice that I don’t belong there, tap me discreetly on the shoulder and ask me to leave.
And then we went inside to SIT AT THE HIGH TABLE inside Trinity Hall and eat our way through a most delicious feast. Full Hogwarts, as Anton had promised me. (No pics there, sorry, no cameras allowed). But was beautiful – medieval hall that had been freshened with cream paint, ancient portraits of past masters hanging looking down on the long tables of diners, a waiter standing behind every other chair.
All went by in a bit of a blur by this point – stunned with marvelous-ness of occasion. Conscious of not wanting to over-indulge in the delicious wine and begin making fool of self. Or faint. Choke. Fall over. Or eat too much dessert. Had amazing time. Wished that it could last forever.
And then – next day – went home.
That’s it. All gone. Truly, truly kicked out of Eden. Fun all over, forever… Wanted to bang on window of departing train and sob and explain that I really, truly did belong in Cambridge. And that they should let me stay.
But think no one would believe me.
Hugs,
Shann.x
